A Little Piece of Heaven

Matthew 6:28-30 Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you?

We had the opportunity to help a couple the other night.  This couple had been married for a significant amount of time but just recently the husband has found himself not inlove with his wife.  How is this possible?  Many couples spend years together, rearing children together, in ministry together but feel numb to each other.  Is this normal to wake up one day and not feel anything for your spouse?  The world makes fun of marriage as if it is a "ball and chain", a prison, something old fashioned.  However  Proverbs 5:18 says "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe." Then it goes on to admonish men to delight in her and be intoxicated by her love.  This Proverb doesn't say only delight in her while you are young...it says delight in the wife of your youth...meaning you are now old and have had a wife since you were young!  That is exciting to me.  Imagine, 2 gray haired, wrinkly people delighting in one another.  Marriage can be a blessing and is meant to be a reward; a little piece of heaven on earth.  How do we make it that?

We as humans are physical, emotional, and spiritual beings.  The physical part of us is easy for us to understand so let's start there.  When an infant is hungry, what does it do?  It cries until someone feeds it.  When an adult is hungry and hasn't had the opportunity to get food, what do we do?  We get grumpy.  Nothing changes between infancy and adulthood.  We don't ever "grow out of" the need for food.  What are some of the other physical needs?  Air to breathe, shelter and clothing to protect us from the elements, activity.  If we as humans do not get these needs met, we have a hard time functioning.

We react similiarly with our spiritual needs.  We all worship something weather it is the Lord of the Christian or the man of the humanist.  Our behavior is always an overflow of the one we worship.  If we worship God, we follow His commandments.  If we think of ourselves as god than we do everything to gratify ourself.  We have a spiritual need for forgiveness, redemption, for peace and joy.  If these needs don't get met, we have a hard time functioning as well.

What about the emotional needs we have?  Many people think that emotions are for sissies! Or being needy is weak.  However, there were studies in the Nazi concentration camps of 2 groups of babies.  One group had all of their physical needs met; food, water, shelter, and were held.  This group survived.  Another group had all of their physical needs met but were never held and talked to.  This group died.  How many of us parents have watched our children fall down, make eye contact with us, and THEN start to cry?  This is a need for comfort or attention.  Are these needs just for children?  Just like physical and spiritual needs, we never grow out of these needs.  We only learn to cope with them better, or manage them better.  152 different emotional needs are listed in the Bible. Some of these needs are approval, respect, security, comfort, attention, and the list goes on.  These needs are what make us unique.

Understanding these emotional needs is a way to understand your spouse and minister to your spouse.  As much as we are called to anything in our lives, we are called most to minister to our spouse.  1 Peter 3:7 tells husbands to "live with your wives in an understanding way".  Wives are called to "watch over the affairs of her household" in Proverbs 31:27.  Maybe, if it was important enough for our Lord to include these needs in His word 152 times, maybe it is important for us to understand them.  Maybe, this is God's way in letting us be His hands and Feet to our spouse and ministering to his heart.  If a person is being ministered to in this way, being cared for in the way the Lord designed him to be cared for, how much greater can he care for a hurting and lost world.  What a greater light we can shine if these needs are understood within the context of meaningful relationships!  As believers of the God who created this world, who has loved us first, we are the ones who need to be caring for others out of the overflow of what has already been given to us!